LIFE is just so mean...or it is just me...

Its already 1.30am in the morning and i cant sleep...just feeling a little down...well,its not that problematic as i thought but i just seems to sense something is misssing in my life...and that is me..what recently happen to me is looks so real but i cant feel the way how it is suppose to be felt...sometimes i wonder why do bad things happen to me more than good things...why do life has to be so many downs rather the opposite,,is life has to be treated this way?how on earth will people get over with this feeling..am i that person who gives more than take?i just want to feel the love that u gave me when our eyes met,hearts fluttered and mouth just knows what to sayt..i cant feel everything that u do now is true.....i know u have alot of problems in your life but if u have time to show your love towards dramas,why not me?why do i have to be left out in this...still remembered your words towards me...the promises u made...but all this seems to be fade away by time...i just hope u could be like last time..i miss you!!why do my life feels so unfair...i dont understand..why do bad people especially those with looks blessed by so many girls to play around and still wants him while good people with good and faithfull heart always get hurt and treatment in this way..thats why for me life is just so mean..wish the world could turn back time for me to look out what the mistakes i have done or others done so i can fix it..life goes on still...i miss you yong mei chan,wheres the real you?i really cant find you..

Wow..its been awhile..

just recently thinking of blogging dont know for what reason..well,my life has been changed alot..for good of cuz..what more could i ask for..a gf,caring frens,stable but unhappy job..but thats not the point..at least i have love surrounding me...this few days has been kind of pressure for me to think things i shouldnt think..well its my love of my life,mei chan..sometimes i do wonder does she ever feel pressured by me loving her too much?i mean as a boyfriend i wanna try to provide the best in our relationship but does she feel the same?i know she has her study life and good frens surrounding her but should it be this way for me to feel ignored?i was thinking what she said like this is me,my character,u will love me for who i am right.i just felt she is changed or some kind of pressure changed her attitude..but i still love her..is just that i wanna feel love just a tiny little drop..maybe im expecting too much from a undergraduate who has her own life but i thought long distance relationship should be this way..giving each other love messages whenever time permits..maybe i have to let go of her in this situation and grow up like a man..its so hard for me to carry on with all the love and effort i gave and end up only to see her ignoring everything...cant expect too much when the person is not really letting go of the past and with her studies,its really hard to expect love back...nevermind..ill keep this is my heart till i can bear it..introvert ppl like me do this way...goodbye world...see you again soon..

3 more weeks..

Cant believe CNY is juz around the corner and yet i feel so angst bout it..and i too cant believe my ears yesterday when azan msning me bout Ah Sim death's..too shocked to believe tat he juz married for about 1 year and he juz dissapear like tat..he is really a fren tat help me alot when i was young and dependent..Ill always remember you Sim Peng Leong...dedicate this song by Mika-Any Other World to u...Wish u a better life in a another world tat gives more happiness than this world has to offer...

Tiring day 2moro..

Cant believe im so hyped for my 2nd cycling expedition wit jem...its been awhile since i see jem and i kinda miss him during our cycling trip before..well,need to wake up early at 5.30am to prepare and have a light breakfast before finding him at tanah merah...and i need to call him when i reach mrt cuz scared he cant wake up or his alarm wont wake him..haha..i think im gonna enjoy my trip the whole day fellowship and enjoying nice view at the same time cuz we r touring almost the whole singapore..hehe..until next time..going to sleep b4 i lose energy writing blogs..byez.

2010..

Wow..2010 is here..never thought time would go through quite fast...even though i have alot of resolution,i just wish i can really get 1 of my wish this year tat is getting muscle fats at 70kg...now im weighting 61 kg rather than last time when i was skinny bout 53-55kg..i cannot be in a 18 years old body like i used too..it feels unconfortable..haha...anyway Nicole just left to myanmar at 2pm afternoon and i feel i kinda miss her..aww,I mean as a fren..i thought to myself i will have less girl friends cuz my lack of social through gals...anyway,just miss her talking and friendlyness..2moro need to wake up early to go work then..need to sleep to relax my muscles..Until next time..

Confused yet suay...

2day the 1st thing i woke up in the morning feel like no mood to go work..cuz i was like so suay for the couple of days when im at work..when i go in the kitchen i was expected to kena tiao by my chef but surprisingly his 1st words is "hows ur finger?let me see"(in a low tone)i was like maybe he won toto or something cant be tat nice to me..got a funny feeling bout it..but anyway he is good mood 2day so im quite glad..now dunno y everyday no mood eat and my smoking habits returns back regularly....i juz feel so lonely now witout any1 to communicate in english and its like a whole cantonese market in my place..damn..really feel sux..juz wanna find the right place to work..even though i really do enjoy cooking teppanyaki but the happiness u work wit tat kind of environment juz isnt the feeling..and oh gosh...im gastric now..need to eat later..till next time ill blog more..byes..

Feels like nobody..

Tis past few days kinda moody dunno wat happen to me...cook also no mood...maybe its my guys "period" had been affecting me..but ill try to make myself happy cuz life isnt about work too..miss my dear alot too.she's having alot of stress recently bout her studies..hope she can cope it...everyday's been a tough life for me..but its ok..i can cope it..dunno wat im writing too cuz too many things in my mind..till next time ill blog more..chaoz..